|
At
first glance, the statistics themselves are overwhelming: more than 55,000
people in Western New York have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s
disease. But "overwhelming" doesn't begin to describe the everyday
life of a family dealing with this disease. That is the heart of this
story.
First and foremost, Pauline Wipfler is a beloved wife and mother. Before
her diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer’s disease at age 57, she
was also a beloved teacher. Her strength, courage and humility in the
face of this disease are a testament to her and a legacy that undergirds
her family’s devotion.
By all accounts she is a remarkable woman. She was a pioneer and innovator
in the field of teaching English-as-a-second-language, recognized as "teacher
of the year" on two separate occasions. The words of one of her students,
who came to her class not knowing a word of English, gives meaning to
who Pauline became to so many: “Your presence permeates my soul,
your teachings and love guiding future generations, thank you for these
words [I am using] which now make sense."
Pauline's diagnosis was the culmination of three years of frustration
trying to get an accurate evaluation. Pauline and her husband, the Rev.
William Wipfler, while researching the possibility that it was Alzheimer's,
were careful to protect their family from their worst fears. She recognized
that her symptoms were similar to what her mother and her grandfather
had suffered - a debilitating undiagnosed dementia. During the search,
she was aware that her memory was failing and was brave and humble enough
to appoint student monitors to quietly advise her if she was repeating
lessons. When the diagnosis was established in 1989, Pauline immediately
retired. Shortly afterwards, her uncle was also diagnosed with the disease.
In 1996, seven years after her diagnosis, daughters Ann and Sarah (living
in Western NY) and sons John (in Maine) and Mark (in Connecticut), initiated
what Fr. Bill calls a “conspiracy.” The four arrived at their
parents' home ostensibly to “pick up a few things”. A gigantic
rented dumpster also appeared which they filled with 30 years worth of
accumulated "stuff." . They were concerned that the role of
sole caregiver was becoming too difficult for their father and convinced
him to sell the family home and move to Western New York to be closer
to their daughters and their families. These dedicated children knew that
they would all be needed to help care for their mother.
In the meantime, Sarah and Ann had been doing their homework and had been
attending Alzheimer's Association support group meetings where they learned
from the experience of others what to expect and how to cope with the
challenges while caring for themselves. When Bill and Pauline moved into
their new home in West Seneca, Bill also joined the support group.
As the disease progressed, so did Bill’s health problems,
and in 2000 the difficult decision was made to find a facility to take
care of Pauline. As family, no decisions were made alone. Regular phone
calls and contact between the four siblings and their father, keep this
close knit family together. The family became more and more involved with
the Alzheimer's Association, receiving support and also offering it to
others in similar situations.
Visits to the nursing home became sing-a-longs with Ann,
an accomplished music teacher, singing and playing the piano for all the
residents. She, with Mark, a physician, John, a lawyer, and Sarah, a physical
therapy professor at D'Youville College, make this devoted family, with
their specific talents, able to combine their strengths to work together
for the best possible outcome for their adored mother.
Throughout these tremendously difficult times, family members
have become active volunteers for the Alzheimer's Association. Bill, convinced
that this disease will eventually bankrupt the health care system, has
served as a very vocal and active Chair of the Western NY chapter's Advocacy
Committee. He has traveled to Albany and Washington, D.C. in a tireless
effort to raise awareness of the immense costs of Alzheimer’s disease
and the need to finance research for a cure. As a member of the Board
of Directors, he is on a constant mission to tell everyone in his path
about it. One has to wonder if this is his own self-prescribed therapy
to relieve the helplessness and solitude he feels at the loss of his partner.
Four years ago, Bill formed "Pauline’s Team"
to participate in Memory Walk, the nation’s signature fundraiser
to benefit the Alzheimer's Association. There were twelve members on the
first team, raising approximately $6,000. Year by year, Bill aggressively
recruited walkers and donors for his team, even contacting Pauline’s
classmates (1953) from Wilson College, many of whom now contribute annually
to honor their former class president. Along with members of St. Matthias
Episcopal Church in East Aurora and staff from Pauline’s facility,
The Waters of Orchard Park, this family’s support system now has
a team of 37 members, raising $11,600 at last year’s walk.
This family is committed to the support and furthering
of research to learn everything possible about this horrendous disease
and to seek a cure that will one day put an end to Alzheimer's. They have
participated in DNA studies to examine the causes and development of the
disease within families. And recently they have begun making painful but
important arrangements with the neuro-pathology department of Buffalo
General Hospital and the Brain Bank at McLean Hospital, affiliate of Harvard
University, for an autopsy of Pauline’s brain to be made at the
time of her death.
Years before her symptoms or diagnosis, the New York State
Teacher's Union (Pauline's employer) offered their employees long term
health insurance. As a result of Bill's previous heart problems, they
rushed to take out a policy for both of them, never thinking that it would
be needed for Pauline. Another part of the Wipfler family mission is to
tell everyone how important long term care insurance is. The costs of
her care, the care she deserves, would have bankrupted them long ago.
The beloved family cabin in the Catskills was sold to supplement the costs
that even long term care insurance didn't cover. (the photo of the family
at the cabin attached) If not for long term care insurance, this family
would have had to become part of the health care system that Bill Wipfler
speaks of, the system that without major changes, will soon be bankrupt
due to these type of costs for more and more people.
Pauline Wipfler is the remarkable woman behind this family’s
passion and strength. Through her, because of love for her, and to honor
her, they have become everything she would have wanted them to be and
more. Their deepest pain and regret is that she cannot celebrate all of
this with them. |
|
|