Life's Adventures
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By Wendy Mednick

You can't unscramble eggs

Life is like a camera, just focus on what's important, capture the good times,develop from the negatives and if things don't work out ….just take another shot..

The past is the past, the key is not to let it affect the here and now. Some believe that you should never look back, while others believe that our past experiences can be great energy to move us to our desired futures. Many of us have two ways of dealing with the past. Some may try to bury it away, or if we cannot change it then just let it go. Others seem to get stuck, struggling to let go of the past. Unfortunately, as research has shown both are not beneficial and healthy. If we do not recognize them and find a place for it, they lead to the same outcome, and greatly influence our present life. Reliving childhood experiences, past behavior, and decisions we have made overtime are not allowing you to differentiate and live your life on your own terms.

Many times we hear from experts that living in the present is the only thing that matters. How
many times have we told ourselves we cannot change what has already happened and we cannot predict the future. Lawrence Samuel, PHD states, this kind of be-in-the-moment therapeutic advice is the centerpiece of all-the-range-mindfulness, the state of mind that prioritizes consciousness and awareness, especially of one’s feelings. It is natural to drift to scenes of the past, whether it be relationships, jobs, events with friends and family. Those past times may have been filled with happiness, sadness or perhaps regret. I recall at times thinking and saying to myself if “ I can turn back time”, which then takes me back to my rear view mirror scenario. That mirror that keeps you stuck in the past, not allowing you to move forward.

The past is a world that no longer exists. Continuous thoughts of the past create an unhealthy and even at times a disturbing obsession with the past. Perhaps, our brain at times takes us there as a reminder to keep moving forward, to concentrate and stay in the present day, and look forward to the future. Letting go allows you to experience your life to the fullest, and yet for some letting go of that past is so very difficult. When I reflect back on the past, whether it be the life experiences I have encountered, or difficult times I have had, I wonder why it is so hard to leave some of that in the past? We are all different, and move through our own experiences, good or bad, in different ways during the course of our lives. The different stages of life give us the opportunity to grow and learn, they bring about new challenges. We gain a greater insight as to who we are as well as our place in the world, and who we are in relation to others. When life is good it is easier to let go and not dwell on the past, and feel good about what is in front of us.

There are times in our lives that do not always play out the way we want them to. We face challenging times, we experience stress, fear, anxiety and worry. For some, it leads to becoming stuck with no way out, or not knowing where to go. The reality is that it happens to most of us at some point in our life. The key is to find a way to resolve being stuck so you will be able to move on. Staying stuck allows for missed opportunities and happiness. Obsessing about the past and not letting go no matter how painful it may feel does not allow for growth, you have to allow yourself to keep moving forward and let go of what keeps you stuck in, and to the past.

The past is done, we cannot change what has happened. Instead of thinking negatively about it, think of it as lessons learned that help us grow, and gain wisdom. Personal growth often is obtained from the mistakes we make. Past mistakes can be stepping stones toward your future. Expand your thought process, know that you have more than one choice. When thoughts are limited, then you limit your potential for growth as well as deprive yourself of opportunities. You can control your achievements and destiny. Why are you holding on, let go, creating space for something new to happen? It is no different than cleaning out your drawers, closets, declutter and making room for the new. The past does not define you, your past experiences only reflect parts of you. Staying in the past prevents you from living in the present, and no plans for the future. Your identity is as much a part of your tomorrow as is your past. Are we living our life by just going through the motions? If we allow ourselves to live this way, and continuously think about a life that once was, you will never know your own potential to live life to its fullest. Let go of the past and fear, and live life abundantly.

The new year is upon us, make peace with the past, it is over and done. Take stock of what is not finished or resolved in your life. The unknown can be scary and challenging, however the past is the past, let go of what no longer serves you, acknowledge that and move on. “The past is your lesson, the present is your gift, the future is your motivation”

Stay Well…….Stay Happy

Wendy Mednick was born and raised in Buffalo, NY. She holds a BS/MA from SUNY@Buffalo/SUC@Buffalo. 30 years plus experience in sales, business development, and project management as well as active in the not for profit community. She can be reached at WFM662@Gmail.Com.